(by Julie Miller)
I was on my way to my high school's homecoming for a portion of my 20-year reunion this evening, so I thought I'd post a song that changed my life around 20 years ago. Maybe it didn't completely change my life at that point, but the truth in it began a change.
20 years ago, I had graduated from high school and was working to put money aside before heading off to Bible school in January. I was terribly unhealthy, but I was completely in denial about the fact that what I was doing to my body was wrong. Though I had struggled with unhealthy thoughts for around thirteen years before consciously acting on them, this was about a year into deliberately making unhealthy choices. I never want to give details that would trigger anyone with an eating disorder, but I will say that there were things that I did in the dark. And there's a line in this song that says, "Nobody but You sees in the dark." At first that thought brought me shame, but it eventually brought freedom.
God knew everything and sought my heart anyways.
Though it would be a little over a year before I truly began my journey toward freedom, this song was one of the ones that God used in order to speak truth to me. Amidst the tears, the longings of a child, the fears, and the wandering, He kept pursuing me and lovingly embraced me in His grace.