Thursday, October 31, 2013

"Forever Reign"

(by Kristian Stanfill) Forever Reign - Passion - Here for You (Deluxe Edition)

Forever Reign by Kristian Stanfill on Grooveshark

This the last day of this series, and I almost missed it! I seriously can't believe that I only forgot one day of the entire month!!

Today's song was so beneficial in my journey toward finding satisfaction in God. I'm not going to type the song out like I did when I first heard it. I thought I'd just hit the highlights, but there are so many...

He is good {when there's nothing good in me}

He is love

He is light {when the darkness closes in}

He is hope

He is peace {when my fear is crippling}

He is true {even in my wandering}

He is joy {the reason that I sing!}

He is life {in Him death has lost its sting}

He is more

He is Lord

He is here {in His presence I'm made whole}

He is God {of all else I'm letting go}

Isn't He so good?! There is so much truth about the Lord in this song, and it is so encouraging and beautiful to see that He is everything I lack & more! And He is the answer to every problem I could possibly have. Today's song helped me to trust God to be all that He says He is. Most importantly, it assisted me in letting go of things that I was trying to find satisfaction in and only seek satisfaction in Him.

Because He is enough. ♥


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

"Home Free"

(by Wayne Watson) 

Home Free by Wayne Watson on Grooveshark

Today's song helped me have more of an eternal perspective. In the seven months from October 31, 1990 until May 31, 1991, I lost eight people that I knew. Seven of them were 17 or younger. Two of the deaths were due to suicide, one to leukemia, one in a freak accident, and the last four in an automobile/train collision. Needless to say, it was a difficult time for me.

I am thankful that I had a relationship with the Lord at the time, though I still don't feel like I handled it so well. Though I can still get caught up in the light & momentary troubles that we face here on earth, today's song helped me see things with eternity in mind. The words of the song were also the beginning of my understanding of God's sovereignty. I appreciated the honesty of the first line, where he says that he's trying hard not to think the Lord unkind. I could totally relate to that! But this song helped me to see that I may never have the answers, but I could find comfort in the God who does. ♥


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

"Beauty From Pain"

(by Superchick) 

Beauty From Pain by Superchick on Grooveshark

I'm running out of time, because I spent the last portion of my evening helping Cody create his first Scavengerween costume! I'm posting today's song for two reasons...1) Superchick's latest {& final} album came out today, and 2) it really did change my life. I don't mean to do it a disservice by not elaborating. But on Day 29 of this series, y'all know of my life struggles and can probably understand quite easily how I could relate to this song. It was the title track of an album written out of painful experiences that the members of the band had gone through. Though I wasn't their target audience, I was encouraged by the beautiful hope and truth provided in the song (& the entire album).

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain, You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn


Monday, October 28, 2013

"Voice of Truth"

(by Casting Crowns) Casting Crowns - Casting Crowns - Voice of Truth

Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns on Grooveshark

The song I'm posting today was my 2004 theme song...

We had taken a leap of faith and moved to Houston for Chris to join a band. As crazy as that sounds, we knew that it was what God was calling us to do. We weren't chasing a lifelong dream of his or anything; it just sorta happened. The band wouldn't pay the bills, though, and Chris wasn't able to find a job. So he ended up starting his own business, and we moved into my dad's house while he got it going. It really did seem crazy to us! But we knew that we knew that we knew that God was calling us. There were a few people who thought we were going against God's will. I mean, seriously, why would God call us away from full-time ministry?!

Honestly, I still don't completely understand it! The band ended within a couple of years of our move, so it doesn't seem like the band was really the reason that God called us here. We're near the med center, which is super great considering the whole cancer thing that came along four years after our move. But the four hours we would've had to drive from Dallas is not much compared to the distance other ocular melanoma patients have to travel for medical care. So I really don't know exactly why God called us here, and I may never know. But I'm OK with that. I'm happy here, my faith has deepened, and I've grown closer to God in all that He has walked me through since the move.

Today's song is one that my brother told me about during the process of our move. It made him think of our situation, and it was an encouragement to me during the transition. Though we weren't called to walk on water or kill a giant, we were called to do something that didn't make sense to us or to others. We had to step out of our comfort zone and face the unknown. We had to choose to listen to God's voice above anyone else's. ♥


Sunday, October 27, 2013

"Without You"

(by Reality LA)

Today's song is yet another one that really ministered to me a couple of years ago. It helped me see that I had been trying to do things in my own strength, which totally wasn't working for me (because it was impossible). It also helped me focus on God and see that I needed to completely surrender to the Him. The following part is my favorite:

Be my strength for I am weak
Be my joy and be my peace
You are my hope
You're all I need

Your grace has rescued me
Love has come and set me free

Saturday, October 26, 2013

"By Your Side"

(by Tenth Avenue North) By Your Side - Over and Underneath (Bonus Video Version)

By Your Side by Tenth Ave. North on Grooveshark

Today's song really helped me to understand that I didn't have to do something to earn God's love, and that I needed to stop fighting and just receive it. I don't know if any of y'all have ever struggled with that, but I certainly have. I pray that you have confidence in His love for you today.

And now for my week...

...My passport arrived!!

...Christopher & I drove three hours round trip for a 12:25 race {because this boy is worth it}

{District: 5th place for 7th grade boys, 10th or 11th overall! So proud of this boy!!}

...I got to be a part of Mallory's first frappuccino experience!

...I experienced a little bit of crying, dying baby mice drama in my front yard yesterday...
Ftr, I didn't realize it was dying at this point. I just thought it was cute, though I didn't want it to grow up in my front yard. I later realized that there were a few of them in the yard and garage, and they had apparently lost their mama. Chris was at Guys' Night with a few guys from our Community Group. I didn't know what to do, and I felt horrible about it.

This morning I discovered that two of them had died. I don't know about the third one. I'm glad they don't live in my yard and won't make their way into my house, but it's still sorta sad.

...On a happier note, I helped out at our church's Fall Fest and fell in love with this sweet baby girl:

...And I had great conversation & delicious dessert tonight in celebration of Laurien's birthday!

I hope y'all are having a wonderful weekend that has nothing to do with crying, dying baby mice! ♥


Friday, October 25, 2013


(by Kristian Stanfill) Always - Mountains Move

Today's song was another one that I feel like God placed in my life a few years ago to help me get over my fear and really trust Him as my refuge and strength. The song contains a portion of Psalm 121. And since it's great, I thought I'd post the psalm for y'all!

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.



(by Tree 63)

I completely forgot to post yesterday. I was doing so well, too! I hope all three of you aren't too disappointed in me! ;) Today's song was one that I listened to a lot right after cancer and has pretty obvious reasons for changing my life. I don't mean to do is a disservice by not saying much; but if I ramble on like usual, I won't have time to finish getting ready for work! I'll close with part of the song that I clung to, asking God to help me believe it:

There never was a darkest night
Without the promise of the morning light

It’s all gonna be alright...
Even this will pass
Tomorrow comes at last


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

"Psalm 73 (My God's Enough)"

(by BarlowGirl, feat. Todd Agnew) 

Psalm 73 - My God's Enough (LP Version) by BarlowGirl on Grooveshark

Today's song could have been my anthem during the years of the wood-paneled rent house. I struggled with discontentment for a good portion of the time when Chris was self-employed, and I hated that I struggled with it. Today's song was convicting, and it served as a catalyst in my search for satisfaction in God alone. Though it would be a bit of a journey (& one that I sometimes find myself on again), it was a start. I seem to be saying that a lot in this series, don't I?! I guess I'm not a quick study. :/ I'll close with my favorite line of the song, and what became a frequent prayer during that time:

Cover my eyes now
So that my heart can finally see
That in the end only You mean anything


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"Simple & Free"

(by Abby Baker) Simple & Free - [Un]Defined

Natalie, here's another tie for the most times I've posted a song! I posted it after my birthday last year & declared it my new theme song! Then I posted it a little bit later in case you had missed it the time before! :)

Today's song inspired {& still inspires} me to live life a little differently, a little better, and a little more carefree by encouraging me to...

...take a few risks...

...dream a little...

...but mostly to live...

...and more than that, to live simple & free.


Monday, October 21, 2013

"Your Love is Strong"

(by Jon Foreman) 

Your Love Is Strong by Jon Foreman on Grooveshark

Today's song helped me to trust that God knows what I need and is willing & able to provide. I posted it several years ago after listening to it repeatedly. It's such a simple and beautiful reminder of the truth that I am more valuable than the birds and flowers that God feeds and clothes. And if I am more valuable than the birds and flowers, then surely He will provide for me, too. I struggled to believe that for a long time, but God is so faithful! He has proven Himself over and over again, so much that I have trouble doubting Him these days. It's probably the scripture & God's character that increased my faith more than the song actually did, but the song reminded me of the truth & encouraged me to believe it! ♥


Sunday, October 20, 2013

"Brighten Up"

(by MoZella) Brighten Up - The Love - EP

Today's song is fun & happy, but it probably doesn't come across as very life-changing for most people. It was for me, though. It motivated me to think of myself less and others more by aiming to brighten up somebody's day. Who knew that discovering MoZella would change my life? Granted, it was a small change, but it was a change nonetheless. It's not like I'm terribly self-centered, and I actually like serving others. But I definitely like to do things that make me happy. It's so much better to make other people happy, though!  When I first posted today's song, I made it my goal to brighten up somebody's day every day. I think I only posted my progress once (6 out of 7 days), but I have continued to make a conscious effort to do what I can to make other people happy. And a benefit of putting others' happiness ahead of my own is that it actually brings me joy! So it's a win win situation! :)


P.S. Baby girl's iPod is on shuffle, and today's song just so happened to come on right as I was about to hit "Publish"!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

"Hope Now"

(by Addison Road) 

Hope Now by Addison Road on Grooveshark

After Christopher's cancer diagnosis, today's song was very meaningful to me because of its message of hope and faith in God and His love. When my life was feeling a bit out of control, this song was an encouragement to place my hope in the God who was in control, and it reminded me that He is my shelter in the storm. Good stuff!

The highlights of my week with Laurien, lunch with Kelly {to talk about India, which I still need to tell y'all about!} and my baby girl's birthday! I actually got about 8 hours of sleep, even though Elly had a few friends here for a sleepover! Here are a few pictures from her party...

After two weeks, we finally got Silvie back today!! The mechanic sent me a few pictures that I thought y'all may want to see...

Funny story...back when we hosted the junior high boys for DNOW, we ended up with a few bits of random unclaimed items including a Bible, a pair of boxer briefs, and a towel. Guess what I saw first thing as I got in my van today? Yep, the underwear that was somehow never removed from my van. I'm thinking they ended up under my seat and were discovered when the mechanic removed the seat for Silvie's repairs. Classy, huh?

Well, I better start the bedtime process. I hope y'all are having a super great weekend!! ♥


Friday, October 18, 2013


(by Taylor Swift) 

Fifteen by Taylor Swift on Grooveshark

No, today's song didn't change my life, but the reason I'm posting it did:

This girl changed my life in one of the best ways ever. I can't remember if I've ever shared about my lifelong desire to be a mom, but that is seriously all I ever wanted to be when I grew up. {Well, I also wanted to be a princess, but that doesn't count!} Given what my issues with ED had done to my body, I wasn't sure if I would be able to have children. So to become pregnant was such a relief, and to give birth to my baby girl was a dream come true. Seriously, all my dreams came true at age 23, and I've been living the dream ever since! ΓΌ

And she's fifteen today! Seriously. My baby girl is FIFTEEN!


Thursday, October 17, 2013

"Psalm 139"

(by Rebecca St. James) 

Psalm 139 by Rebecca St. James on Grooveshark

Today's song was a hidden track on a Rebecca St. James cassette tape that I had a loooong time ago. I loved it because Psalm 139 is great. But it was the whole "even though you know" part that was life-changing for me. I was a couple of years recovered from ED at that point and had been through some times of beating myself up (for what I had done to my body). Like I said earlier this month, knowing that God knew what I was doing had brought me shame at first. But this song helped me to see that I shouldn't feel ashamed, because God loved me even though. ♥


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

"Whatever Thing"

(by Enter the Worship Circle) Whatever Thing - First Circle

Today's song was instrumental during a pivotal point in my ED recovery process. I mention in my story that there was a point {10 years ago now!} when I realized that I still had some negative thought patterns that needed to be dealt with. They didn't plague me most of the time, but I knew they were there. I had sorta been trying to ignore them for awhile, because I didn't want to experience the pain that I knew would be involved in processing through it all.

I remember listening to this song and wanting to lay it all at the feet of Jesus.

I knew that my burdens were preventing me from keeping my focus on Him.

I also knew that those thoughts were cluttering my mind to where I couldn't hear His voice of truth.

And my favorite part of the song gave me hope that if I really would hand over all of my pain to Him, He would take it, set me free, and I would fly. ♥