Thursday, October 20, 2011

"Refiner's Fire"

(by Brian Doerksen) Refiner’s Fire - Today



Two posts in one day?! I know right. It's a shocker! Because Brooke seemed a little concerned about me, I figure I'll just go ahead and put it all out there (once again)...

I'm starting a new Bible study on my own, and I knew it was for me as soon as I read the introduction. It's a Kay Arthur study called As Silver Refined, and it's about allowing God to use our disappointments, trials, and struggles as tools to make us more like Him.

This has just been one of those years when I've struggled to stay on top. I feel like I've been through the fire ~ and for whatever reason, I feel like the heat was turned up this year. And while I know that the testing is for my maturity (James 1:2-4), I feel like I've actually taken a couple of steps backwards (as evidenced by my weight). I'm normally an upbeat person, but I haven't really stayed there this year (for several years, really). I know I've said this before, but I've been trying to fight off this ambivalence that I really despise. I feel like I go back and forth between pity parties and trusting in the Lord. And I don't want to be double-minded & unstable. I don't want my joy and peace to be based on circumstances. I feel like I'll make some progress and attain some level of victory, but it always seems to be short-lived. I'm not sure how much of this is the enemy's schemes or something I'm doing wrong, but I'm ready to get out of this vicious cycle.

Through my counselor and the Lysa TerKeurst study that I'm finishing up, I've learned some techniques to help me focus on God and His truth. I know that a huge key to my emotional & spiritual stability lies in keeping my focus on Him. And as I mentioned in the post I just referenced, I need to know and remain in His love.

Sigh.

Why is that easier for me to say than do?

I also need to allow God to refine me and not resist the work He is trying to do inside of me. I've only read the Table of Contents & introduction of the Kay Arthur study, but it's so good already! Here's just a glimpse...

We are His silver. And the fire is the fire of His making, for through His fire our Refiner will perfect an awesome work, a divine work. He will take what is impure and make it pure. He will take what is dull and make it beautiful. He’ll take what is of potential value and reveal its actual value...
Different flames, different fires will come and go. In the pressure of their heat we’ll see the impurities in our lives being released and rising to the top. Then He’ll skim them off, purifying us, refining us. He’ll make the fire a little hotter, causing new impurities to rise and be released, exposed for what they are. These, too, He’ll lift away."
(Kay Arthur, As Silver Refined)

I really do want to be who He wants me to be. I want to allow Him to purify me and make me whole. I want Him to see Himself when He looks at me. I want to handle my circumstances as He wants me to handle them. And more than anything, I want to be used by Him & bring Him glory.

Amy

3 comments:

becky@cup.of.joe said...

Sweet Amy....I do this too. Ebb and flow between faith and fear....tired and upbeat for the Lord. I get you I get you. Will pray my sweet friend. This season will pass...and you will be stronger still.

Brooke said...

{{{hugs}}}}

sounds like God has you exactly where you need to be. prayers that this study will draw you closer to him.

Messy Mom said...

I wish I could say that I was doing awesome, but we all go through those seasons and I feel like I am just treading water right now. That Bible study sounds really great.