Thursday, November 18, 2010

"Mister C"

(by Ray Charles) Mister C. - Genius + Soul = Jazz (Expanded Edition)



When my mister hacked into my facebook account the other day, he starting updating my status to, "I love my husband!!!!" I caught him & laughed. Then I said he should change "husband" to "mister" or else nobody would believe that I wrote it. Just for kicks I decided to check how many times I have referred to him on this blog as "my husband" compared with "my mister".

I found the results to be interesting & maybe even worthy of psychoanalyzation (anyone?)

There were 87 posts with the word "mister" ~ and I'm pretty sure that I've never referred to anyone else's husband in that way, so I'm assuming they were all about my mister. I'm not exactly sure how it all started, but that is how I've been referring to him since we were newlyweds. I remember writing it as a "term of endearment" in Scattergories way back before we had kids. A friend challenged me on it, saying that it didn't count as two points. But another friend spoke up for me & said that she heard me call him that all the time! So, anyways, all that is to say that I've been calling him that pretty much since he became my mister, & I've always signed my notes, "Your Mrs" (as evidenced in this note from "To Love Their Husbands Tuesdays"). I also call him Mistopher, which is an abbreviated form of Mister Christopher (hence the song title today). So, there you have it ~ useless information that you really didn't care to know! Moving on to my original point of this post...

Of the 28 post where I had typed "husband", around five of them were referring to somebody else's husband and two were referencing when we became husband & wife. Only two were just random mentionings of him, and all of the rest (20 or so) were related to his cancer diagnosis. Now, I've occasionally used the word "mister" when talking about his vision, his eye or his scans. But I have only said the words "mister" & "cancer" in the same sentence ONE time (before this sentence you're reading right now). And it was in the two-year cancerversary post. Weird, huh?

So, what do you think that means? Am I subconsciously detaching myself from the whole cancer situation by saying, "When my husband was diagnosed with cancer..."? Like, maybe if I say "husband" I can pretend I'm talking about somebody else? Because when I say, "My mister has cancer" it's like a punch in the gut.

Gosh, that sentence was incredibly difficult to type. Like, I-had-to-put-the-laptop-down-and-go-get-tissues kind of difficult. I really don't think I've ever said that before. See, this blogging thing can be a good thing, because it helps you work through your feelings, huh? OK, well now that I've written my depressing blog post for the month, go read something funny! {Yes, I know that's incredibly old, but it was the only funny thing I could think of to reference at the moment!}

Amy

3 comments:

Brooke said...

i'm a blubbery mess now. i'm a weirdo...crying for people i've never met. I would say I need mediation but I'm fairly certain is the meds (BC) amking me like this.

all of that to say...i enjoyed those random facts, until you made me cry

Laura said...

Awe, such a sweet post. That's interesting that you use "mister" and "husband" interchangeably. Now my counselor brain is resurrecting itself!
Now here is the "parent" or "uninvited counselor" side of me kicking in: Do what you need to do to process what you're going through and don't worry about protecting us (your readers). Part of the beauty of blogging is being able to connect with others who can mourn and rejoice with you. Thanks for being real with what you're going through!

RR Mama said...

OK crying with you!! But now the funny part is I'm at work and my coworkers are asking me why I am crying. See I know you are smiling and if you weren't you are now! =)