Saturday, April 16, 2011

"Breaking Me Again"

(by FM Static) Breaking Me Again - My Brain Says Stop, But My Heart Says Go





What a wonderful past couple of days!! I drove four beautiful friends to Brenham, where we met up with women from our church for a Ladies Retreat. We stopped in town for delicious pie & a little shopping. I discovered that the mother of my boyfriend from high school now goes to my church & was at the retreat! {It turns out that they had a nickname for me: "Bowling Shoes". You're probably smart enough to figure out that there was a reason for that ~ I actually wore bowling shoes for several years back then! And for the record: I didn't steal them!} I had a few deep conversations with some wonderful friends that I'm sure will continue to resonate in my soul for awhile. I am so thankful for the women that God has put into my life, and I cannot put into words how much they mean to me.

We played a couple of rounds of Bunco after the Friday evening session, then we went back to our cottage for more game time. We played our own version of Moods & Catch Phrase Music Edition until about 2:45. After the larger group had dwindled down to about five or six of us, we eventually decided it was time to go to bed. Then Marcie & I went to our room & stayed up for another hour. We would talk for a little bit then think about going to sleep. Of course, that would be when the a/c would shut off & we could hear someone snoring quite loudly in the next room! Morning came WAY too early! I heard the other ladies before I was ready to get up ~ but I couldn't be mad at them for making noise, because I was sure that we had kept them up with our noise the night before! And I was right. Apparently the sounds of our singing & laughing had carried a little more than we realized on the tile floors, because when I walked into the kitchen I liked to have never heard the end of it!

Anyways, the rest of the retreat was good! I am really glad that I had the chance to go this year. I had arrived there with a bit of a heavy heart, but I am really feeling God working in it through the words of the speaker as well as my friends. I haven't fully absorbed all that God wants to get through to me yet, but I'm on my way. I sort of feel broken, but in a good way. There are some things I need to let go of & trust God with. Today's song sums up a lot of what I'm feeling {plus, it's just an all-around awesome song!}:

When everything seems crazy
And I don't know If I can take it
I know I need a little more help than I've ever had
And a little more love than I've had yet
I feel shaken
And I don't know if I can make it
I know I need a little more faith than if I believe
'Cause every step I take, You're breaking me again


I came home to an empty house & had time to process some of the things that God said over the weekend. It was a beautiful evening, so I sat on my back porch glider with the Word of God, a cup of hot tea and my Bible study book. I felt like the Psalmist in Psalm 27:8,

"My heart has heard You say, 'Come and talk with Me.'
And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'”

God continued to show me beautiful scripture about hoping in His faithfulness (Lam 3; Ps 31:5,24; Ps 56:3) and praising Him for the help of His presence (Ps 34 and Ps 42:11, NASB). There's so much more that I could say, but for now I'll close with this:

But I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God.
I will always trust in God’s unfailing love.
I will praise You forever, O God,
for what You have done.
I will trust in Your good name
in the presence of Your faithful people.
(Psalm 52:8-9)


Amy

2 comments:

Messy Mom said...

Wonderful! I am so glad you had a good time with friends and were able to act silly and also have deep spiritual time too ;P Sounds awesome.

lewiston said...

i love that psalm that you quoted at the end - it's so beautiful and full of praise. it's such a gift to have times like that with the Lord and other women!
also, to comment on your commment: about the gorillas - i forgot that you lived just down the street from that house at one time. we pass by it on our family walks. and the thing on pete's head is a towel. apparently he'd taken a shower but didn't have a comb so he wrapped a towel instead (?). everyone seemed to enjoy it. ;)