Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"Freedom"

(by Run Kid Run) Run Kid Run - Love at the Core - Freedom

Freedom by Run Kid Run on Grooveshark

“All my chains
I can't disengage
And I don't believe that I want to
One hand sings Your praise
The other brings me shame
I have selfishness to blame

And I'm singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for change, change, change, change

Broken down I lay
I keep holding my chains
No longer bound, but here I stay
I scream Father, please
I need rescuing
I need You and You alone

And I'm singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for...

Still You patiently await, yet I won't just let go
I see You and You alone, saying
"Come follow me
Despair has come so you can see
Release"

So I'm singing for freedom
So I'm singing for freedom

The time has come
Separation lost the war to Love
Take My hand
Grace has found you where you once began
You're alive, you're alive
In the waking of new life
Take My hand
In the end there's only Love
There's only Love

There's only singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for

Father, please, I need rescuing
I need You and You alone... ”

[...conclusion of the past two days' posts]
My road to freedom hasn't been a quick one. Initially, I quit making the unhealthy choices, but I still had an unhealthy mindset. Over the last five or six years, God has done so much inside of me as I’ve allowed Him to peel back the layers and really set me free from all the stuff I tried to ignore for so long. I thought if I pretended it wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have to experience the pain it took to face it all and put it behind me. My journey has been a life-long process of giving over control of each part of my life to God, the One source of stability in my life, and the only One who truly can have control over everything. During my journey to forgive, and in times of stress or pain, I have been tempted to deal with things the way that I used to. God’s grace has prevented me from acting on those urges since 1994.

It has taken me awhile to actually FEEL free. In the Summer of 2003, I realized that I was still holding onto a lot of the bitterness and negative thought patterns from the past. I spent a week sitting in the rocking chair with my Bible, begging God to heal my heart and set me free! I discovered that there were many steps in the healing process, and it was painful to evaluate the past and discover why I felt the way that I did. I had a couple of friends and mentors who prayed with me, counseled and encouraged me. I began to feel a joy and freedom I had never known before.

For the past few years, I have wanted a tattoo to symbolize my freedom. I felt that my wrist was the perfect place to remind me that I am no longer a slave to the sin that had me bound. Since Jesus set me free, the eating disorder doesn't hold me captive anymore. My chains are gone, and I am FREE!


If you struggle with similar issues or addictions, please don’t continue on that devastating path. I encourage you to find a good counselor, pastor or friend and share your struggle with them. With God’s help and the help of others who care about you, you too can have the freedom that Jesus longs for you to have.

"He gave His life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us His very own people, totally committed to doing what is right." (Titus 2:14)

{If you're of the mindset that it's wrong for Christians to get a tattoo (based on a certain scripture in Leviticus), please check out this article. It's pretty long, but I feel that it has a very good Biblical perspective!}

4 comments:

Amanda huerta said...

Your story encourages me. I have a cross in the same place except the other arm. I got that to remind me of Jesus and what He did for me. It's a permanent piece of me that I cannot wash away. You are the first person who I feel thinks the same. Lots of people look at a tatoo there as "why would you get one there" I don't think they understand how powerful and meaningful that symbal is to us. I love mine. It is a part of me. It represents what I believe in. Yours is just beautiful. Thanks for opening up. I always think about you and miss you. Lots of love.

Amy said...

Thanks, Amanda! I didn't realize you had one is the same spot. I know what you mean~it is sort of a BOLD place to put one, I guess, since people are definitely gonna see it! Especially in Texas, where it's too hot to wear long sleeves most of the year. But, symbolically, that's where it made sense! Thank you for your encouragement! I hope to see you next time we're up there! ♥

Brooke said...

*hugs* thanks for sharing your story.

Lindsay said...

Hey! reading your story literally brought tears to my eyes. im currently in treatment for my eating disorder that ive struggled with for 5 years(im now 20), and struggling with my faith in the midst of it. i dont have alot of support(other than my treatment team) so reading how far you come is very encouraging to me!!! i just hope i can beat this the way you have. thanks so much for sharing your story!! (and i love love love your taste in music!) :)