Thursday, April 2, 2009

"Colors"

(by Kira Willey)

"I am green today
I chirp with joy like a cricket song
I am gray today
Gloomy and down like a morning fog
I am orange today
Loud and messy like finger paint on the wall

I am red today
Hopping mad like a playground ball
I am black today
Strong and tall a great big bear
I am purple today
Bright and happy like a butterfly in the air

Chorus:
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world are in me

I am yellow today
I shine my light out like the sun
I am white today
Soft and quiet like new snow
I am blue today
Calm as glass and cool like the sea

Chorus..."

Does anybody else ever feel this way? I am honestly full of joy, because I am deeply loved by a God who knows me & loves me anyway. I'm gloomy, because it's raining buckets outside, & I'm filled with "scanxiety" on the inside. I feel like I'm a mess: disorganized in my house & my mind! At times I'm just plain "hopping mad" that my husband has cancer & we have to deal with doctors & insurance companies that deny scans that are vital to my husband's future. My definition of black would be different than "a great big bear"; so I'll just skip that one, 'cuz I don't feel strong at all. I'm happy today, because I have many super great friends ~ one of which I get to have lunch with today, & I haven't really seen her in awhile :)

I try to "shine my Light" to those around me, & I pray that my life brings glory to God. I'm not so sure that I'm soft or quiet, so maybe I'm not white today. But blue~> somehow in the midst of the craziness that is my life at times, I am still calm. I thank God for that, & for answering the prayers of those who love me & have lifted me up during the past 7 months. I don't say this enough, but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

[Not really an update on Christopher, but I should have one by next Thursday. I had hoped to report something sooner, but the scans we thought he was going to have 2 ½ weeks ago didn't happen. Even though it was previously discussed that there would be scans every 6 months, the oncologist was only going to do some blood work this time & the scans in another 6 months. We didn't feel like that was good enough, & neither did anyone else in the OM community that I have gotten to know. The scans are to check for lesions in the liver &/or lungs; because if the cancer was to spread, it would show there first. The problem with only doing the blood work, is that by the time an abnormality would show, the cancer would be too far advanced in the liver for him to enter a clinical trial or other form of treatment. So, after some back & forth with the doctor & a couple of denials from the insurance company, he has finally been approved for the CT scan that has been scheduled for next Thursday.]

2 comments:

The Messy Mom said...

We'll be praying. Definitely let us know how everything goes.

carahinojosa said...

...praying...