Friday, October 31, 2008

"The Shadow Proves The Sunshine"

(by Switchfoot)

"Sunshine won’t you be my mother?
Sunshine come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

Chorus:
Crooked soul trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain, when
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast till the break of daylight
When the shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Oh Lord why did you forsake me
Oh Lord don’t be far away, away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord don’t look the other way

I’m a...

Chorus

Yeah, shine on me...

Let my shadows prove the sunshine"

I feel the need to start off with an apology. I'm sorry that this blog has turned into such a downer. That wasn't my intention in the beginning. I had planned on having fun with this, but I hadn't planned for my life to take the turn that it did shortly after I started this. I keep hoping that I'll have more fun times that inspire happy songs to blog about, but for now, this is what you get!

Just so you don't get all worried about me, you should know that I DO have some fun times here & there. For the most part, I try to live life as normal. But, it seems like the tears are always right there under the surface, and the smallest thing will cause them to start leaking out. I try to keep a smile on my face, and I try not to worry about the future, but it's so hard. I really do want to live life to the fullest. I wasn't just making stuff up when I posted that. But, I've come to realize that it's easier said than done.

I have this very small glimmer of hope that shows up sometimes. It's that shadow that proves that there really is a sunshine. I'm trying to hold on tight to that. I know that God has a plan, and I know that He is here with me regardless of my circumstances. I just don't have that same confidence that my husband will be here with me, too, and at times I am so scared that my fears will come true. Someone once said that 90% of the things we worry about don't come true, so maybe if I worry about this enough, it won't come true! Wouldn't it be great if it worked that way?!

God's Word says not to worry about anything, but to pray about everything, telling Him what I need & thanking Him for all that He has done. It goes on to say that He will give me peace that exceeds anything I can understand, and that peace will guard my heart & mind in Christ Jesus (that's sorta my paraphrase of Philippians 4:6-7). I have found that when I am able to do that, He really does give me peace.

{By the way, did you notice the neat little player that my mister made for me?! I am now able to post my songs in each post where you can hear them! Yay for web programmer husbands!! When I tried to get him to do it for me several weeks ago, he couldn't see very well & was on some medication that apparently made him not able to think very clearly either. But he was able to rig it up for me last weekend!}

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