"You Can't Lose Me"

(by Faith Hill) You Can't Lose Me - It Matters to Me

I know that today's song is more about a girl growing up & leaving home, but I couldn't think of a better one! I had a "first" the other day that broke my heart. It's all OK now, but it made me realize that I'm just not ready for the years to come...

Baby girl had spent the night with a friend, and I had texted her the following afternoon to let her know I'd be picking her up a little while later. She immediately called me to say that they had just gotten to her friend's pool, so I told her to let me know when they were done & I'd pick her up then.

A couple of hours later, she texted me that she was staying for dinner.

Say what?

I don't know how you would've felt about that, but I didn't like it. I don't think she necessarily intended for it it come across like she was making the rules & telling me what she was going to do. But that's totally how it came out. Don't get me wrong, she's allowed to tell me what she's going to do when it comes to most everyday things here at home. But when it comes to plans outside of the home, she is supposed to ask for permission. Especially if I had already told her that I was going to pick her up after she went to the pool.

So...I told her that she hadn't asked permission, which prompted her to call & ask. We didn't have anything special planned for dinner or anything, but I needed her to do her chores before our houseguest arrived. Plus, I hadn't seen her since I dropped her off at school the previous morning! And it was the principle of the matter, ya know? There had been another incident recently where she wasn't ready when she was supposed to be, and Christopher had to completely rearrange his schedule. I know that there are a lot bigger issues that we could be dealing with ~ it just wasn't a good habit to start.

So I told her that she couldn't stay for dinner & that I would be leaving in a few minutes to pick her up. She didn't sound happy, and when I told her that I loved her she just said, "Bye".

Honestly, as I was saying "I love you", I knew she wouldn't say it back. But it still hurt my feelings :( That has never happened before. In fact, she actually says it first sometimes. Am I a big whiny baby that I shed a few tears on the way to pick her up? I guess it was just one of those moments when I realized that she's growing up, and there will continue to be times like that. She's not always going to agree with the rules & isn't always going to want to do what I want her to do. And I'm going to come across as a word that rhymes with witch. I'm so not looking forward to that part of the teenage years.

When I got to her friend's house, all was well. If she had been upset with me (which I'm sure she was), she had gotten over it by then. We laughed on the car ride home as she told me about her time with Kiya & I told her about the awkward handshake moment! :P

Please tell me I'll make it through the next six+ years with my heart intact! Is it possible?



Brooke said…
just know that when she hits 30 - you've got a best friend for the rest of your life. focus on the good my friend!!
Zion said…
I was always close with my mom, but I definitely have those teenage memories of her embarrassing me, or getting into little fights. You are right, it's awesome that this is the worst of your problem with your kids, but it is okay to still be bummed that you have to deal with it. There is one girl I have known since she was born and she is about to be 14. The past two years I have seen her get a little attitude. She is a BRIGHT, polite, super sweet christian girl, but she's also a teen!
I love Brooke's comment and couldn't agree more. I know I had my 'moments' growing up, but my mom and I have always been great friends and still are. The awkward handshake moment was a great story to bring on the laughs! :)
RR Mama said…
I know I'm not going to like the teenage years and I boys. I know it's not always going to be easy I hope and pray when it's all said and done and they are grown we still love each other and we are still close.

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